Til next time,
Hi, Max here. Today I have a speshul treat: a step by step tutorial on how to garden wif your wiener. Me and Diesel helped Mommy and my sister Amanda make a very speshul garden. I think they were planting cheeses. Ohhh, I hope it was cheeses..... I love cheeses! Enyways, on to the tutorial.....
Once your holes are all dug and water has been added, you can go ahead and plant your cheeses seeds! There you have it! A Weiner's guide to gardening. The End.
Til next time,
Action shot - spoiler alert for next blog: gardening!
Hi, Max here. I bet you thought I forgot all about how to make words. Sumtimes a wiener just has nuthin' to say. Mommy says it's been a real long time since I made words, though, so I thought I would make some today. There's been alot happening here. Our new house is almost done, so there's been alot of human activity around that. Daddy doesn't do lamscaping anymore, either! He does jobs being the boss somewhere. I don't know where he goes everyday, but when he leaves in the morning, he gives us a cookie. Another big change is that me and Diesel sleep in the crate at night instead of mommy and daddy's bed. It took me a few nights to get used to it, but I think I like it more. Now I only have to fight wif Diesel over the blankets, instead of fighting wif mommy, daddy and Diesel. OH! Another thing that happened was that me and Diesel turned TWO! We are offishully growned up now! Mommy still treats me like a puppy, though. She's always kissing and hugging me and trying to stop me from eating things I find on the ground outside. Doesn't she realize I am a growned up security dog now? I help wif all sorts of things around the house, too. Just the other night, mommy was cutting up peices of paper to use when she goes to the store - she calls them koopons. Enyways, me and Diesel saw all the paper and how slow Mommy was cutting each one by hand, so we jumped right in to help her out. We tore all the papers into little peices for her! Come to think of it, she never thanked us for that...... We saved her a lot of time! Then the other afternoon we located an emeny turddle trying to crawl through our territory. So I yelled at it. I kept yelling over and over and over until mommy came outside and made us go into the house. Later when daddy came home me and diesel went outside again to locate the turddle. Due to our excellent tracking skills, we were able to locate that dirty turddle in no time. This time I took offensive measures. I flipped it over. Then I yelled at it...over and over and over....til daddy came out and flipped the turddle back over and made us go in the house. I don't think my humans unnerstand the 'portant work I do here! They're always tying my paws behind my back, so to speak. How am I 'sposed to be a top notch security dog if they keep stopping me from completing my missions? Sumtimes humans cunfuse me! Like the other day....... Mommy has been taking us for walks every day and becuz I am a good dog, I don't need a leash until we get down to the main road. The other day we were walking and I didn't have my leash on and a rab-it came jumping past me! That was it. I ran after the rab-it into the woods. Mommy was calling me but I didn't listen. I was too busy chasin' that rab-it. Mommy walked diesel home then turned around and walked back to get me. By this time I was pretty tired. I sat in the middle of the little dirt road and waited for mommy to come back and get me. Then know what she did? She put a LEASH on me! Now whenever we go for walks, I hafta wear a LEASH! Leashes are for GIRLS! How 'barassing! Mommy says it's "'nachural consekwences", but there's nuthin' nachural about leashes! Enyway, me and diesel are looking forward to spending the whole summer chasing burds and G-iant terkey burds and sniffin' cabberpillars and flippin' turddles! PLUS, sumtime this summer we will be moving, so we will have a lot of new things to smell and chase at the new house. I heard a rumor that there are even munkees in the woods over there! I can't wait to see what they look like! Well, that's all the words I have to make for now. I hope you enjoy your summer and I hope none of you hafta wear a leash!
Next time I will make words about gardening....
Anti-leash Activist and top notch rab-it chaser
Action shot of me thikin' bout the Easter Chikin'
Hi, Max here. Today I want to make words about Easter. I've seen lots of pictures on the TV about Easter. Easter is the day when a G-iant rabbit brings painted eggs for you to eat. Sumtimes the eggs are put into baskets - that's if you've been good. But, if you've been bad, the G-iant rabbit throws your eggs all over the ground outside and hides them. Then, all the little kids hafta dress up in fancy clothes and hats and crawl around on the ground to find the eggs. I get in trubble for eating things I find on the ground, but I guess humans don't mind if little kids eat stuff from the ground. Personally, I would just eat the G-iant rabbit instead of the eggs. And why is it a G-iant rabbit that bring eggs? Shouldn't a chikin' have that job? Rabbits don't lay eggs, chikins do! I don't unnerstand any of this Easter stuff, so I aksed my mommy and she said Easter is not about G-iant rabbits and eggs. She said Easter is a r-e-l-i-g-i-o-u-s holiday that gives mankind hope.
Dogs don't have r-e-l-i-g-i-o-n-s, but we do have hope. We hope our humans come back home when they leave to go do jobs, we hope our humans remember to feed us every day, we hope we find a D-lishus dead mouse on the lawn, and we hope Emma doesn't be mean to us. Oh yeah! And we hope we never hafta go to the vet. Mommy says lots of humans believe in God. Mommy says God is like the boss of everythin', even wiener dogs! But we wieners don't think about that stuff. We just think about sleepin' and eatin' and runnin' and snugglin' and playin' and chasin' burds and diggin'. I guess when wieners find good stuff just layin' on the ground, it's kinda like a r-e-l-i-g-i-o-u-s 'sperience. It's like goodness fell from the sky. That's where God lives - up in the sky..... Hey! Maaaayyyyybe, that's where all the D-lishus dead mouses come from! Maybe God drops them from the sky for wiener dogs to find! Just like when Mommy drops food on the floor when she makes dinner and I eat it. I should thank Him when I find good stuff. Like just the other day, I found a mouse chip.............
What? You don't know what a mouse chip is? A mouse chip is a D-lishus dead mouse that has been baking out in the hotness of the sun for a really long time and all its chewiness gets dried up. It flattens out really thin and gets hard and crispy. It usually still has a tail and its fur, though. Anyways, I found it just lying there on the deck! I was proud of it and picked it up with my teef. The tail stuck out of my mouf and was swinging back and forth as I trotted over to mommy. Next thing I know, Mommy is yelling and dancing all around and telling me to drop it, but as you know, wieners don't just give up found prizes so easily. I shut my mouf really tight with the mouse chip inside and just the tail stickin out so mommy couldn't get it. But she did. I was mad. That was a real good find.
Enyways, I was thinkin' that whoever is in charge of the G-iant rabbit should fire him and hire a G-iant chikin' instead and he can be the Easter Chikin', cuz it makes more sense. Til that happens, me and Diesel hope you have a good Easter and hope you don't hafta crawl around outside for your eggs!
Til next time.....
Action shot of me brushing my teef
Hi, Max here. Today I want to make words about oral healf. Oral means something has to do wif your mouf. So we're talking about mouf healf. Mommy bought me a toof brush today and I learned how to brush my teef! It's very 'portant that wieners take care of their teef cuz many wieners have bad teef. If you have bad teef, they can fall out and then you can't eat crunchies! Mommy said humans brush their teef, too. Sometimes when humans get older or if they don't take care of their teef, they hafta have a vet.... I mean, a doctor, that specializes in removing teef take them out. Then a toof doctor (called a D-E-N-T-I-S-T) makes fake teef for them so they can chew their food. I don't know if wieners can have fake teef, so I plan to take good care of mine. I, Maxwell B. Smart, have made an oral healf checklist to help you to keep your teef, too:
Furst, Brush your teef every day, twice a day. Really chew on your toofbrush and make it work for you.
Secund, eat some crunchy things. Apples, chew toys, sticks, etc., will all help you get your teef strong.
Fird, visit your D-E-N-T-I-S-T at least one time every year (unless you are a wiener dog - we don't like vets - even teef vets. They smell bad....)
Fourf, make sure you eat lots of cal-see-um. Cal-see-um makes strong bones and teef. You can find cal-see-um in yogurt and cheeses! My favorites!
Fif, get lots of exersize. Me and daddy or mommy take a walk every day, but you need more exersize than that. My suggeschun is to chase at least two cats every day. If it's raining, you can chase them inside the house - that's fun!
Sixf, rest your teef as much as you can by taking four or five naps each day - this will relax your teef and let the cal-see-um work.
That's it! Oral healf is easy when you know what to do! If you follow my six point plan, you can have strong healfy teef forever.
Until next time, happy brushing!
Action shot of me tellin' Diesel the plan
Hi, Max here. Today I want to make words about exersizing. Some humans have problems wif exercizing. My mommy is one of those peepul, so me and Diesel have 'cided we would help her to start an exercize rootine to help make her healfy. I will be her personal trainer and Diesel will be my helper. Furst, we will need to get her going in the morning. In my wiener wisdom, I know that things that move tend to keep moving and things that don't move tend to keep not moving, so we will get her going as soon as possible in the morning. To do this we will need a stragedy. Mommy isn't a morning person, so we will need to work hard at this.
As soon as she sits down, I will jump up on the back of the couch behind where she likes to sit and start digging on her head. This will get her blood circul....circle....flowing. Then I will chew on and pull at her hair wif my teef. This always makes her move around. Once she is warmed up, me and Diesel will run to the door like we want to go out. Once she opens the door, we will run away. When she sits back down, we will run back to the door and ask to go out until she gets up again. We will repeat this prosess until Mommy 'cides it's not worth sitting back down. This should make her face red which means she is getting good blood flow going! Only a trained wiener wif my smartness knows about all this sighintifick stuff - that's why I am the trainer.....
Once mommy is in motion, we need to keep her that way. Next we should help her wif her floor exersizing. When she stretches, Diesel and I will be right there to make sure she is doing her moves the right way. Mommy likes Yoga (that's different from yogurt, which I like). Yoga makes you lay around on the floor and make poses wif your body. You need to get the poses just right to get the most stretch out of it. So that's why me and Diesel should be right there when Mommy does her Yoga - by getting right up on her, we can make sure she does it right. After Yoga, Mommy will want to sit down again, but I won't let her cuz I won't be done wif my full program yet. Next will be cardio. Cardio is a combination of driving your car and listening to the radio really loud so your heart pumps. But, I don't like riding in the car and I don't like loud sounds, so we will have Mommy take us for a walk until her heart pumps. It will be my job to run ahead cuz I don't need a leash when we walk sometimes - I will set the pace. Diesel's job will be to pull on the leash really hard in case Mommy falls behind. Now, once Mommy gets used to that, I plan to add weights to her walking program by faking sick on our walks so she has to carry me home and deal wif Diesel pulling on the leash at the same time. Once we get home, I will let her rest for a little while before we resume the "I-need-to-go-out-but-once-you-open-the-door-I-will-run-away" program. Then later in the day I will make it clear that I have pooped in the closet and she will get up and clean it. If at all possible, Diesel and I will break through the gate to where the dirty cats live and skreech really loud and yell and make the cats think we are going to kill them so Mommy will get up and yell at us and return order the house. So, there you have it! A wiener-designed full exersize program for healfy living. If you need a personalized plan for yourself, let me know - I charge two D-lishus mouses and five chewy worms. If you want me to train your wiener dog to help you wif your plan, that will be an additional four cheeses.
Until next time, be healfy and keep moving!
Number One Healf Coach
Max's Farm, RI
Action shot of Diesel watchin' dinner cook
Hi, Max here. Today I want to make words about how me and Diesel survived the Blizzid of 2013. What I am about to tell you is a true story.......
It started Friday when I smelled somethin' bad coming. There was snow falling all day and Mommy was putting her candells out. Then it got windy and I knew there was gonna be a problem, so me and Diesel had a meeting to make some wiener prep....prepar.....plans for survival.
Food prep was furst. It would be tough - wif no mouses and worms around in the snow we would have to rely on Mommy and Daddy to give us our crunchies.
Next, we knew we had to have more than one way to get outside. (As it turned out, the snow was two times past the cheese pouch on my chest. We couldn't go out the front door OR the back door. So Daddy took us through the garage into the carport so we could go out to do jobs.)
Next we had to remember to conserve energy. We vowed not to run around too much during the storm in case we needed to spring into action to save our humans.
Diesel then took charge of food conservation. She planned to take some of her crunchies out of her food bowl whenever we were fed and hide them under her food mat for a later time.
We also needed to take care of our humans, cuz they are always needing our help. So we planned that every couple of hours around the clock, one of us would jump on them and lick their faces to make sure they are ok. We knew we should speshully do this if they have their eyes closed!
Then we had to have a plan for cat patrol. Dirty cats are known to go crazy for no reason and we had to be ready for them - another reason to conserve energy throughout the storm.
So, we had our plan and we were ready. Before the real badness of the storm hit, we lost 'lectricity. Now, wieners can see in the dark, so its no big deal, but humans can't. It was a little hairy there for a while cuz me and Diesel didn't know if Mommy and Daddy would be able to find our food in the dark! Daddy kept the fire in the woodstove going and Mommy lit her candells. Me and Diesel 'cided to sleep.....you know, to follow our plan of energy conservation....
The next day we could see how much snow was outside. Waaaay to high for a wiener! Daddy plowed for us and we 'stablished the plan of going out through the garage and carport to do jobs. Mommy made Diesel wear her sweater - which she hated! I told her she should leave it on, cuz wieners get cold real quick, so she did.
Mommy was in charge of keeping the fire going all day and moving the human food to the garage to keep it cold. Then she had to come up wif ways to cook on the little ledge of the woodstove - she did it, too - I was sniffin' at the stove all day cuz it smelled good! But I didn't get any, cuz I'm still on a DIE-it! Even in the Blizzid I had to be on a DIE-it!
When the sun went down on Sadturday, it started to get cold in the house. Mommy moved all the furniture to right in front of the stove so we could be warm. The fan that makes the heat come from the fireplace stove was 'lectric, so wif no fan, the heat couldn't come out far. Me and Diesel cuddled wif Mommy under the blankets, but as it got darker we could hear noises. It was hard to see past where the candells lit up, but me and Diesel knew right away what it was - dirty cats lurking just outside our camp area! They come awake at night and they were everywhere!
There's free (3) of them in the house that we need to keep track of, but it's usually only one at a time. All of a sudden we were faced wif all of them trying to invade our camp at once. So we spent lots of time running and barking and chasing and sniffing and growling. It was time for us to use our energy that we saved up! For some reason, Mommy and Daddy didn't like this cuz they were trying to close their eyes. Well, them closing their eyes triggered another part of our survival plan: checking on humans! So we jumped up on them and started licking their faces to make sure they were ok. After some time of this, Mommy and Daddy shut down our operashuns and Mommy took us into the bedroom wif her to sleep while Daddy stayed near the stove to keep it going. It was very cold in the bedroom so we had a big job to do to keep Mommy warm. Both me and Diesel wrapped ourselves around mommy's legs and knees so she couldn't move and we stayed there alllllll night! I'm sure she 'preshiated that, but she was moving kinda funny the next morning.
Sunday was day two after the storm and meant it was time for Mommy to unbury some of the firewood that got snowed in cuz we were running out of wood. So me and Diesel helped by coming outside to protect her from any frets. Sure enuf, after being outside for only a few minutes, I saw it: an emeny twig sticking out of the snow - it was moving and I needed to check it out. I ripped my sweater off and started digging straight down! By the time Mommy noticed what I was doing, she could only see my butt in the air and the snow flying out from behind me. When she came to 'vestigate what I was doing I proudly showed her my twig - still fighting me - but I didn't want Mommy to think I was scared so I was growling and barking at the twig to show it who was boss! Whenever I would grab it wif my teef to pull it out of the snow, it would fight back. Mommy said it was planted there and I should leave it, but I 'cided it would be better if I kept digging deeper!
When Mommy was done wif the wood, she called me in the house, but I was still very busy wif my twig, so I 'gnored her til she asked me if I wanted a cookie! I haven't had many of those since being on a DIE-it, so I 'cided to leave the twig and go for the cookie. My belly was bright pink and cold from all the snow rubbing on it so I ate my cookie and fell asleep on the couch wif Diesel. What was Diesel doing through all this twig digging, you ask? Coaching me, of course! She would yell at me to dig deeper, and at some points she would jump in to show me 'xactly how I should be digging, then she would get cold and run back to the carport out of the snow but she would still yell to me from there to keep going, get that twig!
Daddy was working during all this - he was plowing in his truck and then he got stuck, then he got unstuck, then his plow broke, then he fixed it, then he plowed some more........ Mommy went out during the day to get more supplies. She got some speshul light bulbs that run on badderies and badderies for her radio. We had burned through most of our candells so the bulbs were a good thing to get. She made dinner and put all the badderies in the lights and in the radio. When Daddy got home they ate supper and the lights worked good, but when Mommy turned the radio on, the badderies didn't work, so she was mad. No music. Me and Diesel didn't care, as long as we could snuggle. I seemed to have some problems jumping up on the couch, though. I was bouncing, but nothin' was happening! Mommy said I used my muscles too much for digging and she picked me up. We did a repeat of the night before wif the cats trying to invade camp and we chased them around for a while, then we went to bed. Daddy came to bed, too and there were lots of blankets cuz of the cold, but we kept Mommy and Daddy warm wif our wiener heat. Then FINALLY! Daddy saw the power come on just before midnight. We woke up nice and warm this morning wif everything back to normal. And that's the true story of how me and Diesel survived the Blizzid of 2013. The End.
Action shot of me rockin' my newborn onesie!
Hi, Max here. Everyone is all 'cited cuz there's a stupor bowl on tv for humans and there's a puppy bowl on for aminals to watch. So me and Diesel 'cided we would make our own bowl: the Max and Diesel Super-Cute Wiener Bowl. Check out our super-cute puppy pichures and let us know which ones you like best!
Action shot of me making resolushuns
Hi, Max here. Today I want to make words about New Year's Resolushuns. That's when you make a promise for the New Year that everybuddy knows about. It can be a promise to give something up or to do something good - it can be whatever you want. Peepul make alot of fuss over their resolushuns. Most peepul say they will lose weight, start exercising or they will quit smoking. They get all 'cited about doing it and then after a few weeks things go right back to the way they were before. Did ya ever wonder about why that is? It's cuz peepul feel they SHOULD do something. It's like they feel pressure to make changes cuz there's a New Year and it's a good time to start fresh. But wif all the pressure, they aren't really WANTING to do it, they just feel they SHOULD do it. Peepul are deep down very rebellious, like me and Diesel can be. They don't like being told what to do. They like to do things on their own terms. So, me and Diesel have made our own list of resolushuns that I hope peepul will use as a guide when they decide to make their own resolushuns.
Furst, forget about all the "SHOULDS". They are not allowed on your list.....
Secun, pick at least one thing to do each day to make you smile. Me & Diesel like to chase burds. We resolve to each chase one burd every day.
Furd, pick a food you like and eat it once every week. Me & Diesel like cheeses. We resolve to eat cheeses once every week (at least).
Fourf, pick one person who makes you sad and angry and is mean to you and vote that person out of your pack. Me and Diesel are voting Emma out of our pack. We resolve to 'gnore her and pretend she's not there until we get the chance to move her to another location when Mommy isn't looking.....
Fif, pick all the peepul that you love alot and would miss if they were gone and make sure they know that you love them. Me & Diesel always lick all of our peepul that we love and we jump around and wag our tails when they are near us so they know how we feel about them.
Sixf, take time each day to think about things you 'prechiate. It's good to feel grateful. Me and Diesel are grateful for everything in our wiener lives.
Sevenf, don't compare yourself to other peepul - that's a waste of time. There will always be someone better off than you and always someone worse off. Wasting your time feelin' bad about either won't change their lives or yours. Me and Diesel 'prechiate who we are and we don't think about being Great Danes wif big tall legs. We also don't feel guilty about unwanted shelter dogs. Us feeling bad won't make them feel better. We make words to try and help them and we send them good thoughts, but we don't feel guilty. You need to feel good about who you are and what your life is.
Eightf, stop worrying about what you can't change. Worrying never changed anythin'. I can worry all day that Diesel is gonna eat my good bone. If she does, she does. Me worrying 'bout it won't stop her. Plus, maybe she won't eat it and I will have worried for nuthin'. This is serious wiener wisdom, peepul.
Ninef, be nice to peepul. You don't know if somethin' bad might have happened to them during their day. If you are nice, you could turn their whole day around. Being mean doesn't help anybuddy. It just leads to more meanness. Mostly me and Diesel try to be nice to each other. Sumtimes we fight over bones, but we make up right away.
Tenf, remember how valuable you are. Somebody loves you and you are someone's whole world. Treat yourself wif kindness and be pachent wif yourself. Everybuddy makes mistakes - that's how peepul learn. Forgive yourself and move on. God only made one of you, so take care of who you are. I know I am speshul - I am cute and have super wiener wisdom. I know my Mommy and Daddy love me and I am a good brother to Diesel. The world would be a different place wifout me, so I am happy I am in it.
That's my best wiener wisdom for making your New Year's Resolushuns. I hope they helped you! Here's to a whole new year - I hope you will stay wif me and be my frend and read all my words this year.
Big kisses to all of you!
Number One Resolushun Maker
Action shot - me telling Diesel 'bout 'shelters'
Hi, Max here. Welcome to day five of me and Diesel's 5 Day Countdown to Christmas. It should have been six days, but wieners are known to be bad at Mathf - I calcull...cacul....I counted wrong so now I will get tomorrow off. I need a vacation as I get ready for more peepul to come visit on Toosday. Diesel did a good job making words yesturday wif her song, The Twelve Days of Wiener Christmas. I was recovering from all the peepul at my house. My cusin Dexter the Dog was here too and I achully played wif him. I like him now - he has good breaf. Enywayyyyysss.... I decided to use my last day of the countdown to make words about the best way to de-stress around the holidays: hug your wiener dog! Your wiener dog and all other dogs (and some peepul say dirty cats, too) can lower your stress when you sit and snuggle wif them and love them and kiss them and...... give them cheeses...... (That's called a "suggestion" - I learned it from Mommy - she knows H-y-p-n-o-s-i-s).....
Mommy says not all humans have pets! I think that's probally why bad things happen in the world. If everyone had a pet, then peepul wouldn't be stressed out and do bad things. The best place to find a pet is in a 'shelter'. That's a place where good dogs and cats go when their peepul can't keep them enymore. Some 'shelters' can't keep the good dogs and cats for a long time so after a while, they call the stinky vet and the stinky vet comes wif medisin to make the good dog or cat go to sleep forever and they never wake up again. In the 'shelter', the good dogs and cats are very sad. They live in cages and hope everyday that someone will come and take them to a forever home so they can feel happy again. They get nervus fur inside the 'shelter' and can't feel calm. They need jobs to do - like me - I am the Security Manager for Max's Farm. That's a very 'portant job! All good dogs and cats need a job to make them feel 'portant and needed. Just like humans - they need to have a purpus.
If you are thinkin' 'bout getting a forever pet, you should go to the 'shelter' to get it - they will love you for rescuing them! I want Mommy to take me to the 'shelter' to visit the good dogs and bring them some of my "Burd Breaf" dog mints. If they have fresh breaf maybe peepul will take them home.
Me and Diesel came up wif a list of reasons why humans need to adopt a good dog as soon as possible (I know cats need to be adopted too, cuz otherwise us dogs wouldn't have enybuddy to chase, but I'm gonna focus on the dogs right now):
1. We can keep you safe
2. We can enforce the 25 minute visit rule (see the furst post in this series)
3. We can protect the perimeter from turddles, cabberpillars, G-I-ant Terkey Burds, dirty chucks, the census person, door-to-door salespeepul and anythin' else you need protecshun from
4. We can keep you thin by eating all your fat-making cheeses!
5. We can clean your yogurt bowls for you
6. We can keep your feet warm in bed at night
7. We can give you someone to take a walk wif
8. We can give you someone to play wif
9. We can lissen to you when you talk to us, even if you don't think we unnerstand - we do - we feel your enrgy
10. We can give you love wifout any queschuns - we love you no matter what and we are always 'cited to see you
All we need is love, attenshun, some wet food, a good bone and sumtimes we need payshense, but I promise if you go get a good dog or cat from a 'shelter', you will be more happy right away!
So that's it! Thanks for reading me and Diesel's Speshul Countdown to Christmas. I hope you have a stress-free Christmas day wif your family and frends and pets. I also hope all your elf infestashuns go away soon.
Max & Diesel
Action shot of me composing a song
Hi, Diesel here. Like, welcome to day four of me and Max's Countdown to Christmas! I'm soooo totally stoked to be making today's words while Max takes a rest. We had a big day today cuz there was like a MILLION peepul at our house for a party. OKAAAYY, maybe not a MILLION, probally more like 17, but whateverrrrr! So Max is tired and I NEVER get tired, so I am making today's words! We are on day four, so, like, I was thinking of things that stress peepul out around the holidays and I remembered some peepul don't like Carolers! Those are peepul that walk around going house to house and sing songs to other peepul. OMG! Like, I know some peepul really don't like that, but I totally think it's cool! I think maybe the songs could use some updating, though, ya know? Soooo, in my diva smartness (and a hint from my Daddy), I came up wif a totally awesome Christmas Carol - sing it wif me, ok? It's sung to the tune of the 12 days of Christmas, but it's name is the 12 Days of Wiener Christmas.
Ahem! (I hafta clear my froat furst)
On the furst day of Christmas, my gramma gave to me, a dead burd in a treeeeee
On the secun day of Christmas my gramma gave to me, two moth balls and a dead burd in a treeeeee
On the fird day of Christmas my gramma gave to me, free good bones, two moth balls and a dead burd in a treeeeee
On the fourf day of Christmas my gramma gave to me, four yogurt bowls, free good bones, two moth balls and a dead burd in a treeeeeee
On the fiff day of Christmas my gramma gave to me, fiiiiiiiive pieces-o-cheese! four yogurt bowls, free good bones, two moth balls and a dead burd in a treeeeeee
On the sixf day of Christmas my gramma gave to me, six cans of wet food, fiiiiiiive pieces-o-cheese! four yogurt bowls, free good bones, two moth balls and a dead burd in a treeeeeee
On the sevenf day of Christmas my gramma gave to me, seven cabberpillars, six cans of wet food, fiiiiiiiive pieces-o-cheese! four yogurt bowls, free good bones, two moth balls and a dead burd in a treeeeeee
On the eightf day of Christmas my gramma gave to me, eight chikins cookin', seven cabberpillars, six cans of wet food, fiiiiiiiive pieces-o-cheese! four yogurt bowls, free good bones, two moth balls and a dead burd in a treeeeeee
On the ninef day of Christmas my gramma gave to me, nine D-lishus mouses, eight chikins cookin', seven cabberpillars, six cans of wet food, fiiiiiiive pieces-o-cheese! four yogurt bowls, free good bones, two moth balls and a dead burd in a treeeeeee
On the tenf day of Christmas my gramma gave to me, ten todes-a-hoppin', nine D-lishus mouses, eight chikins cookin', seven cabberpillars, six cans of wet food, fiiiiiiive pieces-o-cheese! four yogurt bowls, free good bones, two moth balls and a dead burd in a treeeeeee
On the elevenf day of Christmas my gramma gave to me, eleven crunchy dried worms, ten todes-a-hoppin', nine D-lishus mouses, eight chikins cookin', seven cabberpillars, six cans of wet food, fiiiiiiive pieces-o-cheese! four yogurt bowls, free good bones, two moth balls and a dead burd in a treeeeeee
On the twelf day of Christmas my gramma gave to me, twelve dirty wood chucks, eleven crunchy dried worms, ten todes a hoppin', nine D-lishus mouses, eight chikins cookin', seven cabberpillars, six cans of wet food, fiiiiiiiiive pieces-o-cheese! four yogurt bowls, free good bones, two moth balls and a......dead.... buuuurd.... innnnn... a... treeeeeee!!!!!!
There! I totally hope you liked my song - check back tomorrow for the fif day of our Countdown to Christmas! Until then.......
#1 Diva Dog